I’ve been very hesitant to write this post, but I think it’s important to embrace motherhood in all its forms. I know what a lot of people might think from this post…
“She’s so tiny.”
“What do you have to complain about?”
“You look exactly like you did before.”
Every mama out there is doing the best they can for their babies and their own wellness. There is so much change going on around you, and it is such a drastic transition when bringing a new little in your home and life. I think the change we go through mentally and physically is daunting, and whether it is positive or negative…it is a lot to take in.
With Lily, I snapped back like nothing had ever happened. I had a pretty ugly battle with postpartum, but I can still remember finding the bright side that I was fitting into my “skinny jeans.” I was extremely unhappy and depressed when Lily was a newborn, and it took me a long time to be able to talk about it. On top of dealing with my own mental wellness, I was very obsessive over my appearance. I think I used my ability to get dressed up to deter people from thinking that anything was wrong. I looked good so why would anyone think that I was sad?
Now fast forward to now…
I’m in much a better place mentally than I was when Lily was born. Even with the lack of sleep, crazy and demanding work schedule, two babies with very different needs, moving, husband (they gotta be tended to like little pets too LOL)…I’m genuinely happy about where my life is going and what I pray the future will hold. HOWEVER, Claire was a little harder on my body than Miss Lily. My belly grew bigger and I had a lot of ailments throughout this pregnancy. My skin didn’t take the stretching well, and I now have some pretty major stretch marks and scarring all down my side. They’re so deep that if I press my fingers down on them, they sting. I just don’t quite feel like myself, and my eyes go straight to those pesky things every time I’m getting in the shower or in a bathing suit. Don’t even get me started about my boobs. My face was super dry but covered in blemishes. I’ve always put a lot of weight into my appearance as I enjoy getting dressed up, doing my makeup and hair, etc..
It has taken me a hot minute to take the vanity out of motherhood because life is messy, and I want to strive to be proud of my body and view these imperfections as a badge of being a badass and growing two humans. Being a mother of two girls, I want to create a space of positive and acceptance. I want them to know that it’s okay to have your insecurities, but walking the same line as knowing that they were created perfectly and beautifully. In motherhood, I think that’s just as important to voice that in this community. I would love for the conversation of transitioning into motherhood to shift from “OH you’re so little!” to “you’re one hell of a gal regardless what your waist size is.”
It’s okay to not be in your clothes post baby (even if your baby is 10 years old), but it’s also okay to strive to take care of yourself. Pretending like your appearance isn’t a priority to you is just as silly to think that our bodies won’t go through change. Create room for acceptance for the old, new, and what is to be.